Freshman year.
Freshman year was something different, everything was so weird to me, i didnt even know anyone, i was lost, it didnt help that i was a reject as is. everyone thought i was weird for being home schooled until i want to central, i felt left out like i was nothing, like everyone hated me, just for being who i was. it feels as if you have to hide who you are in high school, if you dont, people think your some crazy person, sadly i was stuck in that world, i was thinking to myself why am i here, no one likes me, did my parents want me to get made fun of. but i seen this guy who was very attractive...i dont know his name, or anything about him for that matter. he is in my gym class, but he dont know i even exist. i really wanted to talk to him but i get soo nervous, that i have a break down. this boy has definitely caught my eye. i wish i could find out what his name is, maybe if im lucky i'll be on a team with him, that would give me a chance to talk to him. i dont get it though everytime hes around me, my heart starts beating really fast, and i get so shy i blush and walk away. i pray i will find out who he is one day, because if i could get the chance i would totally go out with him...... later on homecoming was coming soon, i still felt left out, i met this boy named josh he was my first guy friend i met, and i also met this girl named kelly, she didnt judge me and i was thankful. i asked josh to go to homecoming and he denied me, i felt so sad, he killed me, i really did like him or so i thought. it was 2 weeks before the dance i was running for princess, i hoped i would win because i wouldnt be hated as much, i got everything ready for when it was coming, i was so excited!, i thought i would win princess for sure, but this other girl won, her name was jackie, she turned out to be a real sweetheart, so maybe just maybe some people werent that bad, but i got in second, but the only reason i was voted for was because i was the freak, they all thought it was funny that i was even running. after that i dont think i have ever felt more like crap then when that happened, i couldnt believe i actually thought people voted because i was liked, i was way off, i went home and cried all day, i felt so horrible. i became sad because my grades went down , the only thing i kept up with was my music classes, i thought i was a failure for sure, but i kept trying, but it didnt seem to work. i just kept saying to my mom i want to just give up, but then other times i was saying im ganna pass high school watch me, i will prove eveyone wrong. after all that i really really started to like josh more, but on my birthday he started talking to one of my best friends her name was taylor, and he started liking her, he crush me completely, he cant like me then like someone that close to me, and think we will still be friends. i felt dead when valentines day came around, i had no one like it was every year. twirp was coming and i asked josh to go with me we went, but it wasnt a date, i paid for the whole thing, then once we got there he leaves me, i was stuck there i had no one to talk to, and he started dancing with other chicks, it killed me so bad. so later after that my dad left my mom, we had no money, i was super depressed, i got in trouble at school for writing death notes all over my arms, i couldnt take it, i just wanted it to end that whole year, but once i was in mrs joacksons guitar class it made things better, i felt accepted, she gave me hope, and while in her class i met this boy named mark, we ended up dating, but only for like a month, i was never more happy to be in mrs jackson's class, it made my year worth it. the year ended and i was glad i was able to make it.
Sophomore year
sophomore is was all messed up....i finally found out who that guy was that i was totally crushing on for the past year....his name is jared i dont know his last name yet, but he actually started talking to me :)...thank you god. the weird part of this year.....i found out IM PREGNANT.. everyone started to hate me because of that.. now that jared guy wont like me..... :,( but nothing i can do now i mean im already dating this guy named david but.. yeah i dont know..im going to homecoming with david i actually have a date for once.. :P i was actually doing alot better in school this year then i was last year i still couldnt figure out the school, and the people in it. sadly the day before homwcoming david left m, and i was alone once again, its seems im fated to be alone. i actually got to learn violin my lifes goal was comeplete, and i just got engaged oh happy me..thats if he doesnt leave again....i met this girl named hannah she is freaking amazing, like she was just oh my god and she is sweet she called me adorable because im this short little pregnant thing, i think i just found my new best friend. me and her became really close friends, and i hope she will be my best friend for a long time. its January and its almost my birthday and my soon to be husband left me, oh well. i finally got into the orchestra and hannah is in it, playing with them is soo amazing it makes me really happy, i hope i can do it again one day. finally sxhool was almost over and that jared guy asked me out, now i feel my dreams have been complete.
